Friday, August 13, 2010

Wedding Dress Friday: This time, it's for real

This past weekend, I went home, with the intention of showing my mom the dress I had bought and looking at bridesmaid dresses with my sisters and my cousins. My mom was disappointed not to have been there when I bought the dress, and - given my unspoken misgivings - I agreed I was going to look at just a few more dresses. We went to RK Bridal, in Manhattan, which has both bridesmaid and wedding dresses. The whole point was supposed to be looking at bridesmaid dresses. I already had a wedding dress, right? I was just humoring my mom, right? But we spent most of the morning trying on wedding dresses.

RK Bridal doesn't take reservations, so we made sure to get there early, before the store opened, and we managed to get our names first on the list for wedding dresses, which meant we were the first group to be assigned a consultant. Our consultant was Olga, who was fantastic. I probably tried on a dozen dresses, which, added to the 2 dozen or so I'd tried on at the Running of the Brides, puts me way over the average for number of wedding dresses tired on (which I think is around 10-12). (Remember when I said I'd try on a couple dresses and pick a pretty one, and be done with it?)

The dresses - most of them - were gorgeous. It's a completely different thing, I realized, too, to try on a dress at an actual wedding dress store. (They use binder clips to hold the dress in place so you don't have to just imagine how it would look if it actually fit! Binder clips!)

My sister Laura got there late, and so she'd missed the first couple dresses I'd tried on. After I'd tried on my dozen or so, and ruled out several, I started over, trying on what was left a second time. I walked out of the dressing room, in a gown that my mom, sister Anna, and cousin Jamie had liked the first time, but which Laura was seeing for the first time. She instantly burst into tears.

That means that's the dress I'm supposed to wear, doesn't it?

It's not the dress I bought.

I spent a while going back and forth, eventually, between the dress that made Laura cry and the dress I ended up buying. Olga told me that the first was more "bridal" and the second more "sexy," but that's not really the way I saw it. Sure, the second is closer-fitting, and open-backed, but when I wore it, the feeling I had wasn't "sexy." (It wasn't "unsexy," either, of course.) It was "bridal." I could see myself walking down the aisle in that dress. I smiled a lot when I put it on. And when I imagined myself walking down the aisle in that dress, the image in my mind was of Ben waiting at the altar, not of the dress itself. It was a dress that I loved, that looked awesome, and that knew its proper place, being amazing while simultaneously getting out of the way to let me focus on what really mattered - my groom. The only thing that prevented me from choosing was that I was weighing the dress I loved against the dress everyone else loved. Once I realized that, the decision was easy. I picked the dress I loved.

Pictures after the break! (Dear Ben, Don't click this link. For real this time. Love, Kathleen)

The style is Allure 8764. The bottom layer is satin - thus the sheen - and the top is all lace, in ivory. If you look closely, the shoulders are asymmetrical. One has several flowers and a bow on it. I'm undecided on them. I may have one or all of the flowers removed when I get the dress altered. They annoyed me a little when trying it on, but now that I look at the pictures and see that they don't really stand out too much, I may be open to keeping them.

And to top it all off, I got free shoes! They were having a special wherein you could get free shoes if you bought them the same day you bought your dress. I got a pair of plain white satin shoes with a low heel. I was a little worried about just how low the heel was (it was really low), but they were just so much more comfortable than the shoes with a normal sized heel, and I decided that, in situations where no one will see my feet, I'd much prefer comfortable shoes. They're pretty, too, but they're also super comfortable. How awesome is that?


  1. You are gorgeous! I cannot believe there was another dress you even briefly considered instead of this one. It literally brings tears to my eyes, it's so perfect for you. Ben is going to DIE!

  2. It really is lovely! I like this one a lot better than the one you had initially picked out. Hope the move went well!

  3. Would you consider sell your dress? I love it too but can not afford it. My wedding is august 13, irronically one year after you created this post if you would consider renting or selling me your dress please email me @

  4. oh, I also have a wedding August 13, 2011. I'm from Russia, sorry for my English. I am interested in other things. What is in top coat, lace sewn on the grid, or a single associated lace?
    and the color on your dress? (pure white or ivory) on the photo