Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Notes on registering

I had very mixed feelings about registering. I didn't like the idea of making a big fat list of "stuff I want" with the expectation that other people should be buying it for me. I worried that it had the potential to give me the gimmies. (I don't want our guests to be too nice, give us too many treats, too many toys, and too many rides on the Bucking Duck at the mall. It's not good for us!) I think this fear was well-founded, because, let me tell you, now that we've registered, I am so. freakin. excited. for the things we've registered for. And I'm having trouble reconciling really wanting stuff with not wanting to want stuff.
Looking through Macy's and Bed, Bath & Beyond this weekend to finish our registry really brought home to me that from April on, I'm going to be living with a boy. Choosing linens was the hardest thing we had to do. Ben vetoed everything with flowers, and I vetoed everything that was boring or ugly, and there was not much else left. (We ended up picking a paisley print in neutral tones, with which I think we'll both be very happy. But who says boys can't sleep in flowery beds, anyway?)
I couldn't help but feel that wedding registries by their very nature are rude. ("Here's our wish list. As you'll see, we've indicated both color and quantity, and provided an address to which to send the things you surely will buy us.") And yet, I had it impressed on me numerous times - by our guests, no less -  that it would be so much better for them if we registered, because to skip it would make their lives so much harder. And making someone's life harder when you can avoid it is certainly rude. I think it's a paradox.

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