When a Family History Nerd Gets Married: The Bachelorette Party

I had some misgivings about allowing myself to have a bachelorette party at all. Clubbing and loud music and dancing are not my style. Wearing "BRIDE" or "Last fling before the ring" t-shirts is not my style. Luckily, my fantastic sister had something else altogether in mind: a genealogy-inspired bachelorette party designed just for me!

A normal bachelorette party location:

A Dance Club

My bachelorette party location: A tour of NYC's oldest bars!

Ear Inn (image source)

McSorley's Old Ale House (image source)

Normal bridal party shirt:

My bridal party's shirt:

(I think they were making fun of me.)

Normal bride's shirt:

My shirt:

Probably from here?

It reads:

#1 Leave no stone unturned, unless it is a headstone.

#2 Handwriting legibility is inversely proportionate to a document's importance.

#3 The further away a cemetery or library is, the more awkward the opening ours will be.

#4 The relative you most need to talk with is the one whose funeral you are currently attending.

#5 Wherever you find two or more sibling, there also will you find two or more surname spellings.

Normal bachelorette party pin:

My bachelorette party pin:

designed by my awesome sister Laura!

Is my bridal party not obviously the very best ever?

Next time you're in McSorley's look for the "Genealogy is Cool" pin stuck above the door jamb!

(Several of the links in this post are Amazon.com affiliate links.)

(Cross-posted at You Are Where You Came From)

When a Family History Nerd Gets Married: The Bridal Shower

My fantastic sister Anna created this word search as a game for my bridal shower, which was a few weeks ago. As you can see, the list of words includes some of our favorite interests, like Ben's Redskins and my Yankees; the places we met, including Georgetown and Vital Vittles; and all of the surnames in our lineages!

(Cross posted at You Are Where You Came From)

Wedding Photos

This post goes out primarily to my cousins - distant and not-so-distant - who may read this blog. Ben and I have decided that we'd like to include our* family history obsession in our wedding celebration, and so we're collecting the wedding pictures of our direct antecedents to incorporate into our decor. We have most pictures of our parents, grandparents, and some great-grandparents, but we'd like to collect as many as possible.

Some pictures we're looking for, if they exist - (some of these predate the widespread availability of photography, but it can't hurt to ask) :

Marilyn Mulcahy & William O'Hara

Veronica Mulvaney & Joseph Mulcahy

Mary Madigan & Michael Mulcahy

Margaret Sullivan & Matthew Madigan

Johanna Roche & Matthew Madigan (Johanna's not a direct antecedent, but I'll take what I can get)

Margaret Ryan & James Mulcahy

Julia Toner & Patrick Mulvaney

Bridget Rothwell & James Mulvaney

Mary Cullen & Richard Toner

Mary Quinn & John O'Hara

Mary King & John O'Hara

Bridget Hopkins & Michael King

Margaret C---- & Nicholas King

Bridget Kearney & Patrick O'Hara

Mary Gillen & Hugh Quinn

Mary Nora Grimes & Martin Gillen 

If you happen to have photos - preferably wedding photos, but other photos of the couples named would be appreciated, too - please contact me at kathleen.scarlett.ohara AT gmail DOT com.

*we're getting married. I can start saying "we" are obsessed with genealogy now, right?

(cross-posted at You Are Where You Came From)

Symbol vs. Show

Traditionally, people threw rice at weddings. I don't know how old this tradition was, but numerous internet sources suggest that it dates to ancient times in some form or another, and that the use of rice reflected guests' wishes that the newlywed couple have a lifetime of fruitfulness and prosperity. This makes a lot of sense.

 

Though not actually providing the couple with a meal, literally showering them with food is powerfully symbolic. (I'm reminded of It's a Wonderful Life, when Mary Bailey hands the Martinis "bread, that this house may never know hunger; salt, that life may always have flavor; and wine, that joy and prosperity may reign forever.") 

We're not allowed to throw rice after our wedding. Though the exploding-bird thing appears to be a myth,  there are apparently worries about both liability (someone might slip) and clean-up (someone's gotta clean it up). I might, I suppose, accept a substitute of birdseed, confetti, rose petals, etc. Throwing something just feels, viscerally, to be connected to the age-old practice of throwing rice. Like it means something. Those, however, offer the same disadvantages to the church, and are similarly forbidden. (I wanted to invent something that could be thrown at newlyweds that would not cause a mess or a safety hazard, but it's kind of hard to do.)

What could we do instead? Most people blow bubbles these days. Some ring bells. And honestly, I'm not feelin' it. Bubbles have been blown at every wedding I remember being at (I think I might have gotten to throw rice once, as a little girl, before it was forbidden, but I can't remember clearly), and I never had any objection. They were fun and they were pretty. What's not to like? But I'm trying to be a little more mindful in planning my wedding than I ever was as a guest. I had never asked myself "Why blow bubbles?" before, but I'm asking it now, and, as best I can tell, there's no answer. If I had asked, "Why throw rice?" I would have gotten an answer. I wouldn't have staked my life on its historicity, but I could have more or less believed that people were throwing rice at us because they wanted us to have a fruitful and prosperous life. But I can't come up with an answer for "Why blow bubbles?" Instead of blowing bubbles without knowing why - replacing powerful symbolism with empty show - I think we're going to skip it.

Wedding Dress Wednesday - My Grandmother's Wedding Dress

When I was at home last weekend, I tried on my very first wedding dress, the dress my grandmother wore when she married my grandfather in the 1950s. It's satin with lace, and it was worn by both Grandma and, in the 1980s, my aunt Linda. (The lace isn't original, but was replaced when Linda wore it, and is so yellowed that it would have to be replaced again if I were to wear it.)

I'm going to keep shopping around, doing some of my shopping in relatives' closets and some of it in bridal boutiques. But here's dress #1.

Ben, the rest of this post is not for your eyes.